


Bitter Water

by spideyfool



Series: Stay Behind [1]
Category: Tales of Arcadia (Cartoons)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Parenting, Body Dysphoria, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Childhood Trauma, Future Fic, Grief/Mourning, Insomnia, Krel Centric, Minor Body Horror, Platonic Relationships, Secret Santa, Self-Harm, Siblings, kind of.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:28:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28451664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spideyfool/pseuds/spideyfool
Summary: Arcadia is different than it was before. His friends are different, his sister is different -he'sdifferent.AKA, Krel deals with some growing pains.
Relationships: Aja Tarron & Krel Tarron, Jim Lake Jr. & Krel Tarron, LU-C "Lucy" Blank | Momblank & Krel Tarron, RK-Y "Ricky" Blank | Dadblank & Krel Tarron
Series: Stay Behind [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2113932
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	Bitter Water

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Depreshroom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Depreshroom/gifts).



> Secret Santa gift for my good friend in the Krel Discord!! I'm late, but I really didn't wanna rush this, soo...Happy New Year!! I hope this next year treats you well ♥ ♥

Krel’s fourth year on Earth would be coming to an end soon. He had experienced winter before, but never quite like this. 

High school came and went. And with it went Toby, Claire, Steve, Eli - most of his friends had been accepted into large universities, in and out of California. He was happy for them, but without their presence, the season somehow felt colder than before. 

Life on Earth moved quickly. Humans never took a moment to stop growing, to stop _changing_. And he was a human now too, wasn’t he? He had learned a dozen new languages, bought heaps of music from the record store, dyed his hair too many times to count. He wasn’t exempt from change. Change on Earth meant freedom.

But what he saw in the mirror at night did not make him feel free. 

He started growing his horns about a year ago, something typical for a royal coming of age. 

It started out small. Little nubs on his head, like a giraffe; he laughed at that thought, knowing Toby would have agreed with him. But, they continued to grow until they stood a few inches above his head and framed his face. 

And that image was familiar. His _face_ was familiar, in a way he couldn’t shake. He didn’t mind the horns, at first. But now they were a reminder of a life he ran away from. 

He typically slept in his Akiridion form. Once he started feeling sick every time he looked in the mirror, though, he attempted to change his routine. He tried sleeping as a human, but that didn’t work. His long, flowing hair scratched him at night as he twisted and turned. 

So he stopped sleeping. He spent most nights in his lab, then retired to his room by the early hours of the morning. He didn’t shut his eyes until sunlight peaked in through the curtains. Ricky and Lucy stayed up with him, usually - sometimes they protested against his unhealthy behavior, but nothing more. After four years with the blanks, they were more emotionally advanced, but not enough that they could help him.

With finals coming up, though, he couldn’t afford to sleep so much during the day. If he was thinking straight, he would try getting some sleep at night.

...He was not thinking straight. He needed a method that would allow him to stay up all day. 

* * *

Jim was the only Trollhunter left in Arcadia. He had stayed like Krel, too attached to the town and the residents that lived underneath it. But things in Arcadia were much quieter now, and he had the opportunity to take a part-time job at a local café. Sometimes, he felt like they were just two remnants left of what used to be. 

So he made his way downtown and waltzed into the café. He hadn’t slept, but he made sure to perfectly time his arrival with Jim’s schedule. 

He swung the door open and was immediately enveloped by warmth and the smell of cinnamon. Thankfully the shop was empty at this time of day. 

“Krel!” Jim greeted, sticking his head forward from behind the counter. 

He shifted the laptop bag in his arms and smiled, “Hi.”

Jim had grown exponentially in the last couple years. He was much taller now, with peach fuzz adorning his chin. He looked at home in this uniform, though he had insisted the café was merely a precursor to his next job at a larger establishment. He had big dreams as a cook. 

"What're you up for?" He asked, elbow propped up on the counter. 

Krel sighed, stepping up to him and gazing at the menu he had already memorized well. "I don't know. Anything warm."

"But not coffee."

His face wrinkled in disgust. "Not coffee," he confirmed.

Jim nodded, “I can work with that. Chocolate okay?”

He pretended to think for a moment (they both knew the answer to that). “Yes.”

Jim grinned and spun around on his heels. He wasted no time getting to work. Krel stood by the counter and made small talk with him until Jim handed him a piping hot mug. He said his thanks and took a seat at a nearby table. 

He wiped his laptop out of the bag and onto the table before taking a sip of his drink; it was some sort of hot chocolate with a pinch of spice. It was good.

Hopefully it would get him through the day. 

He stared at a blank document on his computer as her drank. School was as time consuming as ever. Unfortunately, he couldn’t directly download information to his mind here on Earth. He was still dedicated to learning, but it was hard to focus when his eyes drooped and his mind went blank. 

He blinked. And then a blink turned into him shutting his eyes for more than a few seconds. 

His head slammed against the table before he could catch himself falling asleep. He vaguely heard Jim yelp and leave his station.

“Oh, fuck,” he said to himself.

“Are you okay?” Jim asked, approaching his table.

Krel sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Yeah, I’m just...I’m just tired,” he replied. 

Jim pursed his lips in deep thought. “You might wanna move to the couch.” He gestured towards the couch near the front window. 

“No,” he shook his head, still rubbing his eyes in an effort to just _will_ the exhaustion away, “I shouldn’t.”

“Place will probably be empty for another hour or two. I think you can get a nap in.”

He let his hands fall from his face to the table. “Do you break store policy for all of your friends?” He was not tired enough to retire from his sarcasm. 

“My troll friends don’t usually get as many perks,” Jim laughed. 

“Careful, Jim Lake.”

Krel’s wit did not distract Jim. He gave him a pointed look and gestured to the couch again. 

He huffed and rose from his seat. He wasn’t gonna get anything done at this rate, and, well, maybe he’d try finishing his essay on campus instead. 

So he flopped onto the couch, brought the laptop to his chest, and closed his eyes once more. 

* * *

Krel woke to a gust of air blowing across his face and the sound of the front door bell chiming. He hummed in disapproval and pushed his laptop up to his chin, cuddling it like a stuffed animal. 

He hesitated in opening his eyes. _He was so tired_. But the moment he was disrupted from the nap, anxiety creeped into him. 

So he forced his eyelids to flicker open. 

He gently tilted his head to look outside. The sun was lower in the sky, which was painted a mix of orange and pink. He took long breaths, but he could not steady his breathing before Jim called out a customer’s name. 

He jolted up and turned to see him sliding a woman her drink at the counter. He knew it was rude to just up and leave, to not tell Jim thank you for the drink and for the company, but –

But he bolted out of the café anyways. He didn’t feel like being seen with drool on his face.

* * *

Running on approximately 2 hours of sleep, Krel devised a new plan. 

Back home, he stared at his cyan skin through the bathroom mirror. He tapped the tip of his horns. This shouldn't hurt too much. He glanced at Lucy leaning against the sink and gripped the pair of pliers in his hand tighter. 

She smiled at him. If he didn’t know any better, he might have thought it was a sad smile. “You know, you look great just the way you are.” 

“I know,” he replied. 

She narrowed her eyes at him. That’s when he flinched - he lowered the pliers and turned to face her directly. 

Her grin came back quickly. “Okay!” she exclaimed, as if she never doubted him. 

“Okay,” he echoed. He sighed and looked back into the mirror. His own appearance made him feel queasy. 

He lifted the tool above his head and started clipping. It didn’t hurt, thankfully; it was like he was cutting hair. He clipped and clipped, from the top of his head to the tip of his chin, until he pinched exposed skin and yelped. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes. 

Lucy pouted and rubbed his back. He closed his eyes, exhaling slowly. Lucy did not let him go until his breathing returned to normal. 

When he finally looked back at himself in the mirror, he was content. He had returned to tiny nubs on his head, as he could only go so far without hitting bone. But he was satisfied for now. 

“You should sleep.” Lucy suggested.

That sounded nice.

“I think I will,” Krel replied. 

* * *

He awoke abruptly to the sound of his phone vibrating on his nightstand. He opened an eye to peek outside his bedroom window and see the sunrise. He swiped his phone off the table lazily. 

Krel stared at his glowing phone screen through lidded eyes. It was a text from Jim.

_you left without saying anything yesterday, you okay?_

He sighed and went to stuff his face into the bed, but felt pushback. When he tried to lean his cheek against a pillow instead and failed, he started to panic. 

He jumped out of bed and rushed to the bathroom. His heart was in his throat when he looked at himself in the mirror. 

Two horns sprouted from his head, as big and as regal as ever. 

His mind raced trying to come up with answers; Was this some sort of cruel joke? Was last night some sort of fever dream?

He yelled in agony and fell to the floor, curling up into himself and clutching his horns. He tugged at them, trying to break them himself with the little strength he had – he was desperate to look in the mirror and not see _her_. 

He did not hear Ricky and Lucy walk into the room through his sobs. They wrapped their arms around him as he screamed. 

* * *

After days of sulking and nights filled with very little sleep, Krel took the initiative to spend his days at school. He still had work to complete and needed the proper environment, free of trolls or barista friends or robot parents. If he could, he would sleep on desks or benches. He found comfort in fluorescent lights and loud laughter from freshmen. He arrived back home in the evening, most days. 

But tonight, he stumbled into the house later than usual. Part of him hated coming home, but he knew he was essentially responsible for the blanks. 

He walked in and threw his backpack to the floor. He inhaled the thick air of the former mothership. 

_"Little brother!”_

Krel nearly choked on the aforementioned thick air once he saw Aja staring back at him. She grinned and hopped off her seat at the kitchen bar. She rushed towards him, enveloping him in a hug, four arms clinging to him lovingly.

He pulled away to get a better look at his sister. She was different, now - much taller than him when he was in his human form, bending her knees so far they nearly touched the ground. Her cyan hair did not flow down to her chest anymore, either, cut short into a bob and falling messily into her face. 

The most horrifying difference was that she didn’t have any horns. He imagined back on Akiridion-5 she might have to wear a larger crown to make up for that, but she must have spared him that majestic sight by leaving that accessory back home. 

When she finally let him go, he noticed Zadra sitting at the kitchen bar as well. Ricky and Lucy were cooking something, trying to stir up a conversation with her, but all of her attention was on Krel.

“I...I wasn’t expecting you,” he spluttered, forcing his gaze away from Zadra. 

Aja gripped his shoulders, beaming at him, “I wanted it to be a surprise! I know Earth holidays are this time of year, but…I forgot which days,” she explained. 

He deflated in her touch. “You could have just asked.”

“Then it wouldn’t have been a surprise!” She rolled her eyes. 

He slipped away from her, making his way to the living room and taking a seat on the couch. He needed to steady himself. Being too close to her at the moment felt suffocating. “Where is Varvatos?” He asked. 

Aja awkwardly made her way back to the kitchen and patted Zadra’s arm, “Back home. I couldn’t leave Akiridon-5 unprotected and, well, Zadra wanted to tag along this time.”

Zadra waved and smiled softly at him. He forced a smile back. 

His smile faded as he glared at Ricky and Lucy. 

“And you just let these two in?” He questioned. 

Lucy waved him off, “Why wouldn’t we? They’re family!”

“Yes, but we have a lot going on–“ 

Aja interrupted. “Krel, is something wrong? We don’t mean to intrude.”

He fell back into the couch, fire suddenly put out by his sister’s mere presence. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong,” he lied, “This time of year on Earth is stressful, you know?”

“Maybe you should come home and spend some time with us,” she suggested. 

He hadn’t gone back to Akiridion-5 in the past four years. He knew it must have saddened her, and perhaps it was selfish to leave her all alone with their responsibility, but it was easier for him to avoid his old home. He didn’t have the courage to face his people, to face the throne. 

So he lied again. “Uh. I’m busy. With school.”

“Is that why you look like that?” Zadra piped up, staring at him intently. 

Krel paused. “Like what?”

“Squishy,” she answered. 

He sunk deeper into the couch. He felt as if Zadra’s eyes were burning through him. “I just like looking like this.” 

Aja must have sensed some sort of discomfort. “I like what you’ve done with your hair!” she commented, “It’s very long.”

Krel brushed his ponytail onto his shoulder and rubbed the sweat off his neck. “Thanks.”

Zadra nodded. “It’s nice, though I’d like to see how you’ve grown.”

He knew what she meant. _Of course_ he knew what she meant, but he laughed nervously and attempted to steer past the question. “I mean, I used to be a lot shorter–”

“I mean the _real_ you.” 

That statement punched the air out of him. This _was_ the real him, and he was about to make Zadra sure that, but Aja came to her rescue. 

“I think what she means is that it would be nice to see a familiar face,” she implored. 

“It’s not very familiar anymore,” Krel grumbled. 

“It might be nice to stretch those two extra arms out, kiddo!” Ricky exclaimed from the kitchen, because he could never be stopped from sharing his own opinion. 

“And...you know,” Lucy smiled sheepishly and tapped the top of her head, mimicking Krel.

Krel gritted his teeth. “I know.”

On any other day, Krel would have denied their request. But he’s exhausted, and his thoughts are too loud to even listen to himself. Maybe if he got this over with, they would leave and he could cry alone in his bed. 

He stood up and took a deep breath. He pulled his serrator out of his back pocket; he still kept it on, him out of habit. He gripped it with both hands and shut his eyes tightly as he shifted into his Akiridion form. His mouth was dry and his hands shook. He wrapped two arms around himself, another arm placing the serrator on the couch. He kept his head down.

He didn’t want to look at anyone, but their silence was deafening. No one moved, no one even breathed. So his eyes flickered towards them to search for their reactions.

His voice cracked as he spoke, “...There. Happy?” 

Aja’s eyes were wide and her mouth slack, but he couldn’t read her emotions. Zadra got out of her seat, and Aja stood frozen as she walked to him. At this point, he was slightly taller than her. She caressed his cheek and stared up at him in awe. His breath hitched and his blood went cold.

“You look just like your mother,” she murmured. 

He slapped her hands away as his vision blurred. 

Krel wasn’t his mother. His mother was _dead_ , and a terrible part of him wanted it to stay that way. He did not want to carry her legacy. He did not want to see her every time he looked in the mirror. He wanted her to fade away into obscurity in his mind; it would hurt less, that way. 

He grabbed his serrator and transformed back. It did not stop the tears from falling. Aja was saying _something_ , but he couldn't hear what. He ran to his room. 

He wanted to disappear, to fall onto the floor and be sucked into an abyss. Instead, he grabbed the heaviest jacket out of his closet and threw it on. He did not want to be in his own home. 

Aja stormed into the room, still as tall and commanding as before. She seemed concerned, but not concerned enough that she could code-switch from a ruler to a sister. She spoke confidently and eloquently, “Krel, I’m sorry if we upset you–“

He sobbed, dry and anguished. Two arms grabbed his shoulders and two grabbed him by the wrists. Aja must have assumed this would steady him - he did not feel like being steadied. He shook his head violently. 

“I don’t want to talk right now. I _can’t_ talk right now, I can’t _be here_ ,” he rambled as he tried to pull his wrists from her grip. 

“We can leave–” she started, but he mustered enough strength to rip himself from her grasp and push her out of his way. 

He held us hands up in front of her to keep her away. “Stay. Stay here, okay? It’s fine.” His shallow breathing betrayed his words. 

“It’s not,” she protested. 

“I’ll be back.” 

She reached for his wrist again, but he pulled away in time. 

“Krel!” she cried as he sprinted out of the room and out of the house. 

* * *

Krel wasn’t even sure what day it was – they were starting to all blur together – but he hoped Jim was working late tonight. He was already running to the café before he could think twice. 

He pushed himself against the front door, desperate to get inside as fast as possible. The cold air sweeped into the empty building. Jim was stacking chairs on tables when he barged in. His head tilted and brows furrowed in confusion as he looked at him.

“Krel?” 

He realized then he could have just texted him, but his mind has been racing for weeks now and he can barely see straight.

“Can I stay at your house tonight?” He blurted out, “Just for one night. If not, that’s okay–"

Jim stopped him, “Hey, of course. Of course you can.” 

He approached Krel and placed a hand on his shoulder - he flinched at first, but relaxed at the warmth that was distinctly different from Aja’s. 

“Are you okay?” he asked. 

He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t find the words. All he could manage was a shake of his head. 

“It’s not important,” he assured. “I’m gonna lock up in like, five minutes. Then we can go. Is that okay?” 

He nodded. Jim reluctantly let him go and left to the back of the shop. Krel sat on the couch to wait, closing his eyes and drifting off. Five minutes seemed like five seconds once Jim shook him awake. He dragged himself off the couch as Jim switched the lights off. 

Jim was still very much into bikes, though by now he had upgraded from a Vespa to a motorcycle. It seemed noisier and less comfortable to Krel, but he wasn’t in a position to complain. He tossed him a helmet, but when he didn’t have the energy to put it on properly, Jim helped him. Krel hopped onto the back of the bike and wrapped his arms around Jim, leaning into his back. The ride was less noisy than anticipated - it was easy to block out when the buzzing in his own head was so loud. 

Jim helped him off the motorcycle once they got to the Lake residence. He opened the front door with his keys before shoving them back into his jean pocket. 

It’d been a few months since he stepped foot in Jim’s house. They spent most of their time at his workplace or on campus, but his home was still as welcoming as ever. It was larger and warmer than his. 

“I’m home!” Jim called upstairs as he closed the front door. Krel trailed behind him like a child. 

“How was your day?” A familiar voice called back. 

“Same as always,” he answered, leading Krel into the living room. He fell onto the couch, exhausted. He curled into himself instantly. 

That was when Strickler entered the room - or, Walter, as Jim called him now. Krel didn’t have him as a professor for any classes, but he did see him on campus occasionally. 

“Mr. Tarron,” he greeted. 

Krel was tense as he whipped his head up. “Hi.”

Jim inserted himself into the interaction. “Krel’s is staying the night, he has…uh,” he searched for an explanation he didn’t have before giving up. “Yeah. He’s staying the night.”

Walter shrugged. “I’m heading off to bed now. Hopefully you two will too?”

“Soon. We’re both pretty tired,” Jim replied.

“Rest well, then.” Walter spared Krel a smile before leaving. 

Krel snatched a pillow from the couch and groaned into it. 

Jim gently took a seat beside him, making sure he had enough space. He waited to hear Walter shut his bedroom door before speaking. “Are you okay?” 

“I don’t know,” he answered truthfully.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Jim said softly, “you can just sleep, and I won’t bother you.”

Krel stayed silent for a moment. It’s not that he didn’t want to talk about it, just that it had become increasingly more difficult to talk about his feelings. 

Jim was a good friend, though. He wanted to try. Still, his thoughts are garbled, and whatever he would say next wouldn’t be very coherent. 

He took a deep breath and spoke, anyway. 

“You were a troll for a while,” he stated gracelessly. 

Jim’s nose scrunched in confusion. “...Yes,” he responded. 

Krel attempted to clarify. “I’ve been growing recently. It’s an Akiridion thing. And I guess I’m just wondering…how did you get over the fact that you looked so different?” 

He tapped his fingers against the couch cushion. “That’s a complicated question.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized quickly. 

“No, don’t be, it’s just...hard to simplify?” 

More silence lingered. Krel felt guilty for asking such a personal question, but didn’t want to say anything further. Thankfully, Jim spoke for him. 

“But I know what you’re talking about. To wake up and suddenly you don’t look like yourself anymore...it feels like shit.” He gently placed a hand on Krel’s leg. 

“I don’t look anything like myself,” he lamented, tears welling up in his eyes. 

“But it’s not even about that, you know? It’s about everything that comes with it,” Jim continued, and then paused to choose his next words wisely. “I had to figure out what was going on in my head before I became comfortable in my body. Does that make sense?”

“I think.”

He spent so much time hating himself, but he knew that wasn’t what he _really_ hated. He hated his past...he hated _her,_ in some ways. But he didn’t know what to do with that information. 

Krel sighed and decided that was enough for him tonight. “I’m really tired.” 

Jim nodded. He brushed his leg softly before getting up. “C’mon, you can sleep in my room.”

“What about you?”

He shrugged, “I can sleep on the floor. No big deal.”

Krel would have normally protested, but Jim’s touch was comforting as he grabbed his hands softly and led him upstairs. 

* * *

Jim drove him home the next morning. He thanked him with a hug a bit too long and desperate, and then he was gone. 

He was less tired than he usually was - it was much easier to sleep in someone else’s bed than his. Yet, his hand ghosted over the front door knob. He dreaded entering the place that had given him hell for the past few weeks. He was even less enthusiastic about facing his sister again. He stood at the front door for over a minute. 

He opened the door slowly, peeking in to see the state of things. He spotted a glowing blue from behind the couch. He wanted to take his time walking in, but once the door creaked, the blue glow took the form of his sister and jumped from behind the couch within seconds. 

She kept her distance as he closed the door, but she was quick to speak. 

“I sent Zadra back home. Varvatos might need some help, anyways,” she claimed. She sounded out of breath, even though she technically did not need any air in her current form. 

He didn’t believe her excuse, but he was not in the position to dispute it.

“Where did you go?” she questioned. 

“I stayed at Jim’s,” he said, leaning against the door.

She smiled awkwardly. “That’s very kind of him.”

“He’s a great friend.”

Aja nodded. Her shoulders were tense and she rubbed two of her hands together anxiously. 

“...I’m going to my room,” he told her as he pushed off against the door and made his way to his bedroom. 

“Oh, okay.” She followed him. “We should probably talk, though.”

He held back a groan and restrained himself from shutting the bedroom door in her face. “What do we talk about?”

“Why you got so upset last night,” she replied simply. Krel sat on his bed and she shut the door behind them carefully. 

“I prefer being in my human form.”

“Why?” She wondered aloud. 

_“Do I need a reason?”_ He hissed. 

Her mouth snapped shut. He didn’t mean to get angry, but he didn’t feel like apologizing, either. She hesitantly took a seat on the bed. 

“Little brother…” she started, inching closer to him, “Speak to me, please?”

He didn’t want to. Aja was normally his rock, someone who could tell anything to. But with _this_...it felt wrong. 

And yet, when he looks at her with those eyes - assertive yet sad, filled with the memories of their life together - he cannot help but melt. 

His throat felt tight. It took him some time to get the words out. When he did, he croaked, “Aja, I look just like Mama.”

“What’s wrong with that?” She asked softly. 

“I don’t want to think about her,” he admitted. He must have said it with too much haste, because Aja flinched and looked at him in surprise. 

He needed to make it sound less egregious. “It hurts to think about her. To think about everything that happened.” He explained. 

He did not confess that he felt some resentment towards her. For the loss of childhood and lack of love before it was too late. 

Aja hugged him. Once he felt her warm arms around him, he allowed himself to cry. He clung to her roughly. 

“I just want to forget,” he sobbed. Forget his parents, forget the pain? Even he wasn’t so sure. 

“Then forget,” she whispered, running her fingers through his hair softly, “Forget, and I’ll do the remembering for the both of us.”

That would be extremely selfish. He had already burdened Aja with so much; the throne, his feelings, and now their parents’ legacy. 

But it felt so good to be selfish. It was a luxury he never had before Earth. And he knew how much she loved their parents, how much they had loved _her_. She was their golden child, and she’d be a better bearer of their memory than him. 

He sniffled, “I’m sorry.” It was in her arms that he realized just how much he said the phrase. 

“It’s okay,” she swore into the crook of his neck. It was alright to lie to each other, just for now. 

They stayed wrapped up in each other for a while. It was natural and relieving and Krel felt like he could fall asleep in her arms.

Aja pulled her head away. “I want to stay, but…” she trailed off. 

He knew what she meant. Part of him wanted to be alone for quite some time after this, but another part of him felt it would just be best to agree with his sister. “You can stay.”

She grinned and sighed in relief, bringing her head back onto his shoulder. “It’ll only be for a day more.” 

Krel didn’t respond. He leaned against her head and closed his eyes.

* * *

Aja left Krel just as damaged as when she found him. She had given him permission to indulge in his grief, but that gave him no catharsis. Not like it should have. So he had to find it in other places. 

Dr. Lake aided him with his sleeping habits, AAARRRGGHH tried to comfort him with hugs, and both Blinky and Strickler attempted to help him with his body issues. Jim was there for...well, everything else. 

He sat at the café as he’d done a thousand times before, but Jim sat across from him. He wasn’t working that day, but meeting here was a habit that didn’t feel like breaking. They conversed about various things; school, music, food. But his mind was still plagued with thoughts of his parents. Krel hated to unload everything onto Jim, but he needed _someone_ , and he was the best someone he had. 

“Can I ask you something?” He stared at the pastry on the table to avoid eye contact. 

Jim hummed in approval, his own mouth stuffed with a sandwich. 

He inhaled. “Do you...ever think about your father?”

Jim swallowed. Loudly. Krel grimaced, already regretting asking the question. 

“Uh...no,” he began, slowly, “Not anymore. I used to, when I was younger.”

Well, he seemed confused, but not upset. Krel pushed further, “What happened?”

He pressed his lips together in thought. “Junior year, I went to go find him. We talked. I decided he wasn’t worth thinking about anymore, after that.” He explained.

“I’m sorry,” Krel said instinctively. _Again._

“Don’t be. It doesn’t hurt anymore.” He took another bite of his sandwich, giving Krel the time to think about his answer. “But why are you asking?”

He rested his chin in his hand. “I guess I’m wondering if my parents are worth thinking about, anymore.” The truth felt like sin coming out of his mouth. 

“Were you close with them?”

He was close to them in that they were all he had for years. But he knew better, now - that wasn't true closeness. It wasn't what he felt with his friends, or even with Aja.

“I don’t know," he answered.

Evidently, Jim needed time to think about that answer. They sat in a comfortable silence. 

He leaned in closer to him. “My dad isn’t a good person. He’s not a good father. That's how I was able to let go of him," he divulged. He stared at Krel, waiting for him to give is own input. 

“I thought I knew who my parents were,” he laughed bitterly, pushing his face farther into his palm, “Now I don’t think I do.” 

“You might need to figure that one out, then.” 

He sighed. “How?”

Jim shrugged empathetically. “I’m not sure. Have you talked to Aja about it?” 

“Not entirely.” She _had_ given him permission to forget, to free himself of the memory, but something about that didn't feel right. It didn't feel complete. 

“I’d probably start there.” He said. 

Before they could continue, a barista called out Krel's name. He pushed his chair out and went to fetch his drink; it was some sort of frappé Jim ordered for him. He was trying to widen his horizons with food. He grabbed it and took a small sip as he walked back to their table.

He reeled at the bitter taste, but the foam at the top tasted nice. It was meant to be vanilla flavored, or caramel flavored, or _something_ sweet, because Krel couldn't tell. All he could really taste was coffee beans, milk, and sweet syrup. 

He placed the drink on the table and fell back into his chair. "It’s...not terrible,” he mused. 

Jim beamed, "That’s good! You can go sweeter, if you want.”

He swirled the drink in his hand. "I’m good for now.” 

“We’ll make a coffee drinker of you yet, Krel Tarron.” 

Krel laughed and eased into his seat.

_It was a good start._

**Author's Note:**

> As I said I didn't wanna rush this, but I'm still not sure if I gave all the concepts the proper time or exploration. Still, I did get what I had originally planned done, so I hope this is still enjoyable. I may write with this sort of AU more later since I like the setting and relationships I set up. But anyways, happy new year!! I promise to write more Krel (and Krel ships) in the future :3


End file.
